tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28717747348461385722024-03-04T21:07:14.166-08:00Keeping my BS in CheckAL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-69259348379954235892017-05-18T21:57:00.000-07:002017-05-18T21:57:43.053-07:00What Brings Me Down: None and All of It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Most days if someone would ask me how I feel about diabetes,
I would say it’s fine, no big deal. Everyone
is dealing with something, and diabetes happens to be where my goat is tied.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But some days it is too much. The nonstop worry, guilt, stress, fear, and
questioning overwhelm you. You need a
break that will never come. You feel
inadequate and unable to master this disease and thus your own fate. You wish you were cursed with anything else
but this.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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A few years ago I sat in on a workshop about de-escalation
and learned one of the basics was to acknowledge what the person in crisis was
feeling. It makes total sense.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Unfortunately as diabetics we deny ourselves this all the
time—the <i>acknowledgement</i></b> that it is a lot to handle. It isn’t cancer, it isn’t a terminal
diagnosis, and it’s manageable. We want
to minimize the stress and fretting of our loved ones, so we carry on and try
to normalize it. At least I do. I don’t want to bring anyone down, as if my
vulnerability is their burden.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But living with this condition is significant. It’s always there. It dominates my thoughts around every meal
and every workout and every drive and every date and every time out with
friends. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s hard, and we should give each other that much. Which is why I really appreciate Thursday’s <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/p/201-diabetes-blog-week-topics-posts.html" target="_blank">topic</a> and <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13Apr2017c" target="_blank">posts</a> relating to <a href="https://www.nami.org/mentalhealthmonth" target="_blank">Mental Health Month</a> and coping.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the worst days, some of the things that bring me down are
thoughts (if irrational) like this:</div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Having to deal with this when none of my friends
do is the worst thing in the entire world</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I am alone and no one understands</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I am failing at BS control, and the resulting
complications and/or death will be my fault</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Diabetes has made me an inferior person</span></li>
</ul>
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Dark stuff, right? What
I do to conquer these feelings and move on is at first acknowledge them. I accept that it is okay to feel them and
confirm that I am facing a challenging situation. In other words, I revel in self-pity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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After that phase has concluded I try to do things that make
me happy and calm. This can be very hard
to do at times because I’m having so much fun with the self-pity phase, but I know
it works every time so it’s just a matter of getting out and doing things such
as:</div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Taking a walk</span></li>
</ul>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0F6rMOMJr0XZiu01adoOyuO5QHVZCLoUOBJYMbi4HCEs7xsTXBt67f31hjWjc4fROYKo2SA1uzZMO3RCBKe3_CnWh9etXo_5CLeM5JUwd8Z2ipAaeS04xjD7RozeAze_GhiKsR8jbrwE/s1600/sunset+5.18+_175835_128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0F6rMOMJr0XZiu01adoOyuO5QHVZCLoUOBJYMbi4HCEs7xsTXBt67f31hjWjc4fROYKo2SA1uzZMO3RCBKe3_CnWh9etXo_5CLeM5JUwd8Z2ipAaeS04xjD7RozeAze_GhiKsR8jbrwE/s320/sunset+5.18+_175835_128.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Walks are nice. Always.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Playing with my cat (or any animal that is readily
available)</span></li>
</ul>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLL5pmQmKS83Q6UgfPZ3TM_VkUz5lOK5TKu3byDX4vg4v4JyH__WDQW56KDrKPwjdLTWfcqKXhyphenhyphenLWqwfcwVWV6SO4kUTUlFoi2HSgq-s6ww6alfgDJB_KzddMwKKu42HD4BgvKa9LvuuA/s1600/cat+necklace+5.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLL5pmQmKS83Q6UgfPZ3TM_VkUz5lOK5TKu3byDX4vg4v4JyH__WDQW56KDrKPwjdLTWfcqKXhyphenhyphenLWqwfcwVWV6SO4kUTUlFoi2HSgq-s6ww6alfgDJB_KzddMwKKu42HD4BgvKa9LvuuA/s320/cat+necklace+5.18.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Someone super hates her Christmas accessories, which only serves to make it more endearing.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Making a delicious but somewhat healthy meal
that makes me feel like I’m back on track</span></li>
</ul>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPslnJKMWY49J6NRp6QXIBCGg50YFD3QkHsd3Yi8j8bNbVT-A-k14ZUBMEcrx_Pyf7PjvLN1MR_GGpaT4ajjksV0USY6kTsfQ9BZhE1n6HmrW2WbNkzv-B60ZtMM-G34wMu06TTEgNDUM/s1600/curry+5.18+164121_693.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPslnJKMWY49J6NRp6QXIBCGg50YFD3QkHsd3Yi8j8bNbVT-A-k14ZUBMEcrx_Pyf7PjvLN1MR_GGpaT4ajjksV0USY6kTsfQ9BZhE1n6HmrW2WbNkzv-B60ZtMM-G34wMu06TTEgNDUM/s320/curry+5.18+164121_693.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Curry would be super healthy but for the can of coconut cream that has basically a week's worth of calories. YUM!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Seeing family or talking with friends</span></li>
</ul>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsl9XhasCdqwn0YtYwe0JspMdmEynH0pBS_IpKs8ERSJjyJIFpNGH_f-qD1mce8E6ThzSwX_rWbII-1jlgJoLsAVwaRNQXas8i0lVGBs79sg-2ooAAG8so-BfBJ5A3FXZOU0IqdmmYEyo/s1600/baby+cat+5.18+174133_288.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsl9XhasCdqwn0YtYwe0JspMdmEynH0pBS_IpKs8ERSJjyJIFpNGH_f-qD1mce8E6ThzSwX_rWbII-1jlgJoLsAVwaRNQXas8i0lVGBs79sg-2ooAAG8so-BfBJ5A3FXZOU0IqdmmYEyo/s320/baby+cat+5.18+174133_288.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Bonus: hanging with loved ones AND a furry animal!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Writing or journaling about what’s going on</span></li>
<li> <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Going online to listen, learn from, and share
with the wonderful diabetes community there</span></li>
</ul>
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<br /></div>
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Diabetes won't give you a break, but you certainly deserve one. Go for it!!</div>
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AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com3United States45.336701909968127 -77.3437519.814667409968127 -118.652344 70.858736409968131 -36.035156tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-51477126307981198472017-05-16T21:53:00.000-07:002017-05-16T21:53:03.535-07:00The Cost of a Chronic Illness—We Were Born with this Bill<div class="MsoNormal">
The clerk at the pharmacy looks down apologetically. “Hmm, looks like it’ll be (some egregious
amount of dollars). Is that okay?”</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Sure,” I say and swipe my credit card, thinking about how the
three-month supply of medication just took away my disposable income for the
current month and possibly beyond.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This scenario used to happen consistently when I went to
pick up insulin and/or the other things involved with diabetes MDI (multiple
daily injections) like test strips, pen needles, lancets, etc.. Despite the ridiculousness of the question posed
I usually wasn’t irritated by it, instead seeing it as a sort of reassurance
that it wasn’t normal to be paying this much at the pharmacy and to feel it as
a considerable cost in my budget. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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My reflex every time, though I suppressed it, was to say, “No,
it’s actually not okay. But I don’t see
much of a choice.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Exciting things have been happening within the diabetes
community lately relating to advocacy for insulin affordability. At the same time, prices have been going up,
and the political climate regarding access to care in the U.S. is by the best
measures tumultuous. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I will say in the interest of brevity is this: every
time I pay this bill, even the times when I truly couldn’t afford it and didn’t
get to my car before I started crying, I felt lucky that I was still able to
get the medication I needed to stay alive.
I know there are people around the world who can’t, knowing we all
deserve to. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Life is a pre-existing condition. Why won’t you cover it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-64436378236606287132017-05-15T21:58:00.000-07:002017-05-15T22:19:19.322-07:00Diabetes and the Unexpected: Ground Rules<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>This is the first post
starting off <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/p/201-diabetes-blog-week-topics-posts.html" target="_blank">Diabetes Blog Week</a>. Check
out a bunch of fabulous posts on this topic <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13Apr2017" target="_blank">here</a>! </i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The prompt says it best: <i>“Diabetes
can sometimes seem to play by a rulebook that makes no sense, tossing out
unexpected challenges at random.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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There is no comprehensive playbook. It’s like every other job: a lot of it you learn on
the fly, and it’s not all covered in the manual.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Like an employee manual though there are a few guidelines to not forget. This year, having reached a decade birthday and my 17<sup>th</sup>
year with diabetes, I’m learning the hard way that it’s good to not forget
about the basics. Ie check your blood
sugar before dosing insulin. Take
exercise into account. Don't let yesterday's frustrations about high blood sugar affect the way you carb count today. Make sure your car has at least a
quarter tank of gas during a bitterly cold winter. <br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That last lesson was painful. I was reminded in January that I had become
too comfortable with my routine and too slack with the rules, and a long walk in the freezing cold with much cursing
ensued. I made the same error in
judgment months later, this time relating to diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks ago I had to wait up with a low for the first time
in my life. It certainly wasn’t the
first time I’d experienced a low at night, and while they are rare, I usually
just wake up and find my way to the candy dish.
On this night I had accidentally overshot my insulin by ten units, and it
was the first time I had to stay awake hours to make sure everything leveled
out, coincidentally on a night when I just wanted to go to bed early. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t because my glucose monitor malfunctioned (that I know
of, at least), that my medication went berserk, or that the moon did its thing
where it plays with blood sugar.
The insulin worked as it was supposed to—the problem was just with the
person using it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t test my blood sugar before I gave myself those ten
units while out with friends for a beer and a slice. I assumed my blood sugar would still be riding
high from the watery spaghetti they served at a charity supper earlier. I didn’t take into account that the insulin I
took for that was still running in the background, and I had run a 10k that
morning so my body could still be in workout mode. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stupid mistakes, I know.
When you’re constantly adapting to moving parts, knowing 1+1 doesn’t always
equal 2, and having lived with a condition like this for so long you start to believe you’re pretty practiced at steering this ship in wild
waters. So you go loosey-goosey with the
basic rules like a grammar student who, having learned the ins and outs of punctuation,
assumes he’s an expert then throws caution to the wind and starts chucking commas
all over the place for artistic effect.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got home after the pizza soiree and immediately checked my
BS. It was 110. Crap.
That meant a bunch of insulin was coming on board to do its job and
there was no job to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was my fault, but I was frustrated. I was tired of the unpredictability, of the
highs and lows, of doing simple math that commonly seemed to come up with the
wrong answer. So I bathed in self-pity
and the next day decided to make peace with it.
There were things I could change about my perception of diabetes and
thus my experience, starting with respect for the basics, and most
importantly taking a lighter mental approach and learning to roll with the punches
that were most certainly going to keep coming my way. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can’t be Type A about it. I mean maybe you can, maybe that works
swimmingly for some people, but I’ve found it’s easier to get by when you expect
the unexpected and let it go. <b>There are two rules of diabetes: respect the ground rules, and know there are no real rules.</b> There you
have it: an old cliché, paraphrasing from <i>Fight Club</i>, and a <i>Frozen </i>reference
in the same paragraph.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another nerd note to round this all out—when I looked up “unexpected”
in an online thesaurus it listed “wonderful” and “amazing” as synonyms. Other words related to "unexpected" also denoted more positivity than unpleasantness, which I was surprised by.</div>
<br />
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But I shouldn’t be. Nothing
should surprise me anymore. <span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-13377587673681196922016-10-31T21:56:00.001-07:002016-11-01T20:42:44.571-07:00Another Time Warp Closes<div class="MsoNormal">
When my best friend called me from the other side of the
country to tell me she just found out she had gestational diabetes, I wasn’t
surprised.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t that her health history made it predictable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s the healthiest person I know, works out
regularly and consumes kale, quinoa, and kombucha like they’re actually
enjoyable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We became vegetarians in high
school, and while I survived off of potato chips and cheese pizza she took
vitamins and ate vegetables.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Years later
she’s still a vegetarian and I’m (cough) not so much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe I knew something was wrong because we’ve been best friends
since grade school and I have a sixth sense for what she was feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe her unusual silence in the days after I
knew she was going in for testing was a giveaway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Either way I should’ve been prepared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand what it’s like to get the news
that you have diabetes; I don’t know what it’s like to hear it when you are carrying
another human life inside you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed
like an illness with an expiration date that was more complicated in many ways
than regular diabetes, because she had to learn fast and in the middle of so
many other weird things the body does during pregnancy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wanted to tell her that it’s not as bad as it sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to reassure her that everything they
tell you seems daunting at first, but it is entirely manageable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to assuage the guilt in the back of
her mind that it was somehow her fault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wanted to tell her it was not a tragedy but another challenge and that
no matter what we would figure it out together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when she told me about the diagnosis and the tear-filled
weekend that followed, all I could do was listen and offer encouragement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never got around to saying “me too.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems like every time the opportunity to disclose comes
up like this it’s like a time travel warp in a 90’s movie that will close
forever if you don’t jump through in time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every moment after that window feels like it’s irrevocably too
late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next phone chat is the second best time to tell her, but
even when we talk about her struggling with the new diet and routine of blood
testing I offer my support but not expertise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The calls after that, the text when she loses a relative, the days
approaching her delivery date...with every new occasion it feels more and more
awkward to say it, like it’s at the worst selfish and at best irrelevant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And with the passage of time, what you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">didn’t </i>say becomes what you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But this is truly not a irreparable state, and I will tell her,
because I know simple candor will cut through the awkwardness that accumulates
each day I continue to hide it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have faith
in the Chinese proverb, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The second best time is today” and the countless
other adages that guide us past a view of the past as quicksand prohibiting progress
and cementing mistakes.</div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-64202126332621505232016-08-31T21:54:00.002-07:002016-08-31T21:56:02.226-07:00The Vacuum Epiphany<div class="MsoNormal">
For 30 years of my life I’ve loathed vacuuming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Technically I shouldn’t count the years before I could walk,
talk, or you know, understand the concept of vacuuming, but the hatred I
harbored in the comprehending years more than made up for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know what it was that spawned so much disdain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> ( </span>I’m a clean person, I swear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">) </span>Maybe it started because it was one of my
almost daily chores as a child, though that certainly didn’t ruin dishwashing
for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it was the years I spent
as a waitress at a local restaurant where it took at least 15 minutes to vacuum
up the fries and chew spittle at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For most of my life I’ve attributed my hatred of vacuuming to an inherent
aversion to either floor chores or physical exercise itself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I avoided it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the
last townhouse I lived with a roommate—hold your dinners people if you
vulnerable to queasiness—I vacuumed probably three times in two years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It disgusted to me sit on the floor, look at
it, or even think about it, but I wouldn’t bother to vacuum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For one, it seemed pointless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It never seemed to get clean, and like all
the other vacuums in my life, I believed the one available at the time was more
likely to start on fire than suck up the dirt and grossness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At my new apartment though where I was finally reunited with
my cat I realized I had to do the unthinkable: buy, and potentially use, a
vacuum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cat fur was rolling through
the place like tumbleweeds in the Wild West before the end of the first week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I bought a vacuum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And realized everything I’d believed about vacuuming in the previous
decades had been wrong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I found I enjoyed it.</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was easy, and best of all, the results were clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The carpet looked as if it’d been fluffed,
but best of all I could see all it had picked up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At work I thought about it, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">even</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">looked
forward to it</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And realized that all along what I had hated wasn’t the
practice or concept of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The equipment
I had been using was consistently ineffective; choosing the right tool made all the
difference.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should’ve known that, because it’s clear in diabetes care
that choice in supplies matters significantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I feel I’ve never recovered from my insurance company’s decision to stop
carrying a small portable meter and rarely take the new one with me as a
result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The #<a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23AccessMatters%20PWD&src=typd" target="_blank">AccessMatters</a> /
#<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/MyPumpMyChoice?src=hash" target="_blank">MyPumpMyChoice</a> debate this spring hit home because even though I don’t use a
pump, I completely understand how access to the right tools for each
individual determines attitude and practice towards proper care.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not just a piece of equipment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s an experience, reinforcement or
recreation of a mindset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Tools, it seems, change everything. </span></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-26835286015607771602016-05-30T21:59:00.002-07:002016-05-30T21:59:47.621-07:00Mental Health and DiabetesAs <a href="http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may#Indy" target="_blank">Mental Health Month</a> comes to a close I wanted to share my
thoughts on what mental health has to do with diabetes management.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short: <b>everything</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe it’s fair to say that the treatment of diabetes
lends itself to behaviors that mimic or lead to the development of actual
mental health disorders: eating disorders, anxiety, depression, you name it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The personal responsibility for day-to-day
management combined with the often-aired doom-and-gloom warnings of dire
complications, significant cost of medications and supplies, lack of social
understanding, and isolation is difficult to process into positivity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having diabetes can feel like walking an endless
road full of deadly perils alone while armed only with a map written in
Sanskrit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The irony is that if you let all those things get to you, everything gets worse. Ignoring the disease to save your sanity can be disastrous. That’s why we need support to keep going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe that comes from the online diabetes community, where
we can be inspired by the encouraging voices and ambitious people living
with diabetes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s the annual
conferences and workshops on diabetes that, among other benefits, showcase just
a sampling of the sheer number of people involved with diabetes in some
capacity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it comes from friends or
family members who listen when we vent on a bad day, gently ask us how it’s
going when we’re quiet, and laugh, eat, and spend time with us with acceptance
of who we are and whatever health conditions are a part of us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it comes from local support groups that
introduce us to other people with diabetes and their stories, where we can talk
about our current challenges or topics not related to diabetes at all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally, we can find that support from mental health
professionals, because the truth is that the totality of the above options are
sometimes not enough without the foresight to sort through and connect them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like a scatter plot graph of support—you
get opinions and facts here and there, but it’s more helpful to understand the trends by drawing a line. People trained in mental health can help you sort
through the mess of conflicting ideas, see the bigger picture, and find the back
door to circular logic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those thoughts
that accumulate in our heads like extra glucose in our veins—you’re not doing
enough, you need to try harder, you're failing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re in the trenches of diabetes management
every hour of every day, and it’s eye-opening to get an outside view.<br />
<br />
But even in the 21st century the relationship between mental and physical health still struggles for validation. Research seems to <a href="https://www.statnews.com/2016/05/16/health-markers-risk-death/" target="_blank">recognize it</a> more and more, but the stigma is still prevalent. Perhaps a holistic approach to diabetes would mean people get the care they need to achieve better outcomes, saving health care money in the long run.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I wish that when
people are diagnosed with diabetes they would be referred to a therapist as well as
an endocrinologist.</b> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish
counseling was offered as readily as visits with nutritionists and diabetes educators
when numbers aren’t where they should be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-8858823885443931662016-05-19T15:39:00.000-07:002016-05-19T15:39:00.686-07:00The Healthcare Experience: A Clash of ExpertsThroughout my time with diabetes visits to the doctor have
undeniably improved. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a teen I used to
cry and scream in the car at my mother after every consult (God bless all the parents of diabetics).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I committed all the biggest sins: made up my
numbers, told any lie to appease my doctor, and pretended to commit to new
plans without the slightest consideration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel like I’m in a good place now: I like my doctor, feel like
I can be honest with him, and sometimes actually don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want to wait</i> for three months until the next visit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crazy, I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 15 years I finally established a
doctor/patient relationship that worked like it was supposed to: as a team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The post-doc dirty martini tradition I
started a couple years ago is a reward, sometimes a celebration, and rarely a
somber distraction.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there are still troubling issues I can’t figure out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last doctor visit was one of the best I’ve ever
had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He used words like “tight control”
and said my A1C didn’t need to be lower—probably the closest I’ve ever come to
a compliment from a doc. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More prevalent though were words like “safety.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The theme of this visit seemed to be lows
even though they were far outnumbered by highs, and I hadn’t had more than a
few or any severe ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My A1C had been steady
for a year, and the last result had actually gone <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">up </i>a smidge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the conversation
and according medication adjustments hinged on safety and lows, in my belief,
because the student/resident doctor’s “focus du jour” was on lows. (She had
asked me with incredulity during our one-on-one consult if I drove.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was, and still am, irked by that
question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does diabetes mean you’re supposed
to be relegated to taking public transit and cabs?) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The most lasting effect of this visit was an increased
paranoia of going low, “cheating” more, and higher BS. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In conjunction with the talk about lows I was also gently
pushed to consider a pump and/or CGM and set up a meeting with a diabetes
educator to learn more about the products available, which I balked at but
pretended to consider in the future, kicking the can down the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am profoundly averse to change; I refuse to
use the bank drive thru, still use a typewriter on occasion, and was a late
adopter of smartphones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both of these recommendations—the medication adjustment to
err on the side of highs instead of lows, and the consideration of switching from
MDI/insulin pens to a pump—are absolutely legitimate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One hundred percent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just didn’t know if they were right for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I kept asking myself: if things are going good, why do we have to change
anything? I didn't have a problem with using pens or having the occasional low because I over-corrected from a high; why did they?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, what if I was just being stubborn?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I challenged my reluctance to embrace what I
knew could be a very positive change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
likened the switch from multiple daily injections to a pump as the same
hesitation I felt when going from pills to insulin—a change I wished I’d made
sooner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have an inkling I’ll feel the
same about a pump when I try it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
trying to figure out what’s right for me and if it’s personal preference or
fear that holds me back from switching.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s the hard place I can’t seem to escape in the
doctor/patient relationship: there are two experts in the room with often
differing views on the best course of treatment.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctor has formal education and vast
knowledge on the disease, and you have an intimate understanding of your body
and its day-to-day management.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s good
for one to challenge the other with ideas, but hopefully the ending place is
not so far apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>In the end, patients
should leave with plans that are actionable and leave them empowered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should feel we have the agency to chew,
and not just swallow, our doctor’s orders.</div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-35056541072287861592016-05-17T22:41:00.000-07:002016-05-17T22:41:27.172-07:00The Other Half of Diabetes: You Know, the Mental One<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not possible to measure the effect diabetes has had on
me emotionally.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s the endless tasks of a day-to-day routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s the guilt over highs, panic over
lows, and frustration over the numbers that don’t make any sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s the worrying about how much my loved
ones worry about me (meta-worrying? <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s the bad days where everything seems
hopeless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mental health doesn’t get enough attention in diabetes
management.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They loudly broadcast the
possible side effects on your kidneys, eyes, heart—everything but your
brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody in the doctor’s office (or
elsewhere) encourages you to pay the same attention to your mental health as
they do your numbers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But treating the emotional/psychological side of living with
a chronic disease is just as important as keeping the numbers under
control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People with diabetes can have
all the information and resources available to them, but it won’t help unless
they’re willing to use them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A doctor
can prescribe medications all day, but they won’t do anything if the patient
doesn’t take them, and the patient won’t take them unless they believe it
matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I my A1Cs used to be in the 10s, 11s, 12s, my doctor
used to always conclude that I needed to visit the diabetes educator again, as
if education and not attitude was the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As if I needed to see the plastic pork chop again to understand the
proportion size for meat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew; I just
didn’t care.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Attitude is everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So is hope.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a wise blogger wrote today for #DBlogWeek (I’m sorry I
can’t remember who it was, I read more than a few today <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>), it could be worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’re alive today, and our blessings only increase from there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently started a new mental exercise, fill in the blanks
style:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
_______ today as if _______ was a gift</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-42221945739829521782016-05-16T17:02:00.001-07:002016-05-16T17:02:06.166-07:00Message Monday: What I’m doing here <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m stoked to take part
in <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/#dblogweek" target="_blank">Diabetes Blog Week</a> for the first time this year!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you Karen (<a href="https://twitter.com/KarenBittrSweet" target="_blank">@KarenBittrSweet</a>) of the
Bitter Sweet Diabetes blog for doing all the work to make this a wonderful week
to learn from each other and discover new D voices!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Read them <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13May2016" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #2e75b6; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #2E75B6; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: lumm=75000; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent1; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 191;">here</span></u></b></a>.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I set up this blog in 2014 because I had known for a long
time that going it alone wasn’t working anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve lived with diabetes for 16 years—most of
them poorly controlled, the last few well managed, and all of them alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could count the people who knew about my diabetes
with two hands and the people I’d personally told on one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I emerged from my “dark ages” of diabetes and got back on
track I realized my numbers were fine, but mentally the disease was still
wreaking havoc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My A1Cs were the best
they’d ever been, but I still couldn’t talk about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had neglected a key part of diabetes
management: the psychological need for support.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I went where the experts, my diabetes peers, were:
online.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finding the online community was invaluable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found people I immensely respected who were
following their dreams, having families, and advocating to make things better
for people with diabetes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why online?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For one,
you get to connect with, learn from, laugh and cry with people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two, you don’t have to wear pants or makeup
while doing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I moved to a smaller town from the metro area I sadly had
to say goodbye to my local diabetes support group and hadn’t been able (read:
hadn’t tried) to round up people to start a group in my new area, so I went
online.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like in the support group I sat
back, listened to some stories, and slowly joined in, ever appreciating the courage
and resiliency of the people who made me proud instead of ashamed what made us
different.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also hoped to add my voice, because so many times while
reading a book or a blog by an author with diabetes I got that feeling that
screamed, “ME TOO!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to share
the hard-won lessons I’d learned from my mistakes, the facts that changed
everything I felt about diabetes and still rely on daily, in hopes they are of
any use to others. They are:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You Can Do It</span></b></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
People living with diabetes are
incredibly strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We practice many
skills throughout the day: constant math for carb calculations and insulin
doses, medical equipment troubleshooting, coping skills to deal with constant
strain and unpredictability, and on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’re awesome, and we need to acknowledge that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
We’re often reminded by well-intended
people, organizations, and media that dangers and dire side effects are
possible with diabetes, but only in the diabetes community is it made clear that
your life is more full of possibilities than it is of limitations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I diagnosed I thought I had to give up
my dreams for the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I realize
that that misconception, not diabetes, was what stood in my way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You can do it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s Easier with Gratitude</span></b></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Everyone with diabetes knows it’s
no cake walk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the numbers go up
and down they sometimes take your moods with them, and either one can go off the
rails without provocation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Diabetes is a
party that never ends, even when you get tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
It’s expensive too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve left the pharmacy a number of times with
tears in my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After indulging in self-pity
for a while I try to remember that I’m incredibly blessed to have access to
life-saving medicine, even if it costs me dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
On days when I’m mentally stuck in
muck, when I’m ready I remind myself I’m lucky to have made it this far and to
have today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve found blessings are way
more fun to count than carbs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">...And People</span></b></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
It’s also easier with people in
your lives who support and accept you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
used to fervently defend the belief that you could do it by yourself and didn’t
need anyone to be successful at diabetes management.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose in some ways that’s true, but it’s
lonely, and for me at least, emotionally damaging. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still love me some independence, but engaging
with people about diabetes is empowering, educational, and inspiring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m encouraged to challenge myself and do
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s gotten easier to talk about
it with other people in my life and support those I know who live with
diabetes, which is a wonderful feeling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Thank you for that.<br /></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-50047954508681529862016-04-30T03:56:00.003-07:002016-04-30T03:59:27.813-07:00Good Gravy: The Impact of DietingA conversation today turned to diets, and it wasn’t long
before the word “guilt” came into play.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Food is a never-ending quagmire for diabetics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We're coached on the proper foods to eat and
shown plastic food to demonstrate appropriate portion sizes at the same time we
are cautioned with vivid examples of the consequences that follow non-adherence
to restrictions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We think through every
meal, consider every bite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We compare what we eat to what’s in the diet plans, consider
what our specialists would say about the pizza we had for supper, and wish it
was as easy as it seems to be for our extreme-health friends and people in
the media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We get referred to the
dietitian over an over not because we don’t know what we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> be eating, you know, all the time, but because our docs aren’t
quite sure how else to change our behavior in response to high A1Cs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What we don’t acknowledge often enough is that it is asking
a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish we were more cognizant of
our strengths: that we may not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i>
say no to sweets or yes to exercise, but we’re human and doing the best we can
while faced with unending demands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
are asked to do what everyone should be doing—eating mindfully and focusing on
healthy foods—but for the rest of our lives and without fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201103/dieting-can-make-you-lose-your-mind" target="_blank">a study</a> that covered the psychological
impact of a restrictive diet on otherwise healthy guys that validates that
point: it takes a lot to cut back on calories, even more so in today’s food-soaked
culture.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So please:</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b>Give yourself more credit.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b></li>
<li><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Forgive yourself for past mistakes.</b></li>
<li><b> Keep trying.</b></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
They say diets fail because people cheat and then assume all
is lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep going.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can't let the guilt narrative repeat in our heads, the one that says <i>you failed; you could've done better. </i> I’m still trying to shake an addiction to chicken nuggets,
but for now I’m appreciating how far I’ve come. </div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-90848646579051832952015-11-29T21:07:00.000-08:002015-11-29T21:07:10.800-08:00Thanksgiving Every DayThis Thanksgiving my sister-in-law attempted to nudge a couple of the children into reflection and gratitude as we sat around the supper table.<br />
<br />
"What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?" <i>- sister-in-law</i><br />
"My tractor trophy." <i>- nephew</i><br />
<br />
And of course my other four-year-old nephew echoed this sentiment despite that fact he had no such trophy and was too interested in rides during the local fair to even compete in the pedal tractor race. It was cute.<br />
<br />
The day was by no means perfect--work that morning had sadly prevented me from doing my turkey trot tradition, and I started the binge early in the day with a face-sized jelly donut-- I was repeatedly reminded we were so blessed to have everyone there for supper, even as the young children on either side of me used my cream-colored sweater as a napkin. <br />
<br />
The next day I met a friend from out of town for lunch, a continuation of the Thanksgiving week eating marathon. We got on the topic<i> </i>of how she was feeling lately and her mindset toward a chronic health condition that causes pain and progressively affects her lifestyle. With much more sagacity than I can portray she said she is realistic about the chances for a cure in her lifetime, has prepared for what happens if she has to stop working earlier than expected, and has planned for her long-term care as she ages.<br />
<br />
I wasn't sure how to respond right away. I was overwhelmed by admiration for the courage of her honesty and the pragmatism of her approach. At that moment and for many afterwards I considered sharing my struggle with diabetes, but as usual something held me back. Instead, as a true Midwesterner, I looked for something comforting to say and came up with the one of the blessings I've found in living with a chronic health condition: that unlike most other people you are given a real reason to take better care of yourself and pay attention to your health; and although it comes with a host of challenges <b>you learn to take it one day at a time and to appreciate everything you have</b>. Only when something is threatened do we ever seem to really appreciate it, and in some ways people living with chronic disease are more aware and able to experience deeper gratitude for life because they are confronted with challenges to it. "Yes", my friend replied, "my husband and I talk about how lucky we are all the time."<br />
<br />
I'm not saying it's easy, or even possible, to stay in a positive mindset all the time. With chronic conditions like diabetes there's always new challenges and the build-up of frustrations over a complicated disease that feels more high maintenance and fickle than a needy boy/girlfriend. But reflecting on our blessings is a good exercise to bring us out of the depths we can find ourselves in. <br />
<br />
It can't be Thanksgiving every day. (Which is a good thing, because pants with zippers would soon be out of the question). But the essence of it--spending time with people we love and reflecting on what we're grateful for--need not be confined to the holidays.<i> </i>AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-55305511462178948382015-09-30T21:59:00.001-07:002015-09-30T22:01:34.041-07:00On the Malice of Bugs<div>
When I took a walk today tiny gnats swarmed in clouds around
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They stayed with me for a good clip
of my route as if magnetized to my face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Annoyed, I tried my best to ignore them, but I soon got amply
frustrated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed as if they were trying
to ruin the outing, holding me back as well as they could with their muted
buzzing and dangerously close proximity to my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagined they were deriving amusement from
it all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which, of course, is ridiculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though my knowledge of biology is shaky, I doubt the the
bugs were actively attempting to foil my walk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought on the way home that I needed a mental reset; I
was thinking of things in an unhealthy way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not only were the bugs not “out to get me,” but wasn’t it just plausible
that the converse was true, that the bugs were swarming me because they wanted
to join in and accompany me on my walk?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feeling beaten down is always a choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stress and frustrations from dealing with
diabetes easily brings us to a place where negativity seems the most real, but
we have to clean our lenses to see things for what they are.</div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-14275174670156609352015-06-30T21:37:00.000-07:002015-09-30T22:10:26.602-07:00Things Break, Then a Bigger Surprise<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">My blood sugar monitor stopped
working last week, so I called for a new one to get delivered. Then
something <i>really</i> unexpected happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I realized I missed
it. A lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">My younger self would
have rejoiced in a reprieve from checking my BS; heck, I used to go
months without it. Every time my doctor asked to see my numbers I would
say I "forgot" to bring the logbook stacked with empty pages. Checking my BS didn’t just feel like a dreadful obligation that everyone nagged
me to do--it was like taking a test I knew I couldn’t pass, an objective
reminder of my failure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Now it’s incredibly tough to <i>not </i>test. I simply want to know where I’m at. The numbers let me know if I need to take
action or momentarily celebrate a good result. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Not being able to check my BS
feels like exploring a forest without a map while the thought of misstepping
into puma territory constantly looms.
Is it safe to take a walk without knowing where I’m at? What if I’m too low? What if I’ve been high all day?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">The last time I visited the doc I
was told something for the first time in my life: I was checking my BS enough. I kept trying to process it as a compliment,
but it seemed more like a simple statement of life, like “great
job breathing.” Maybe it’s because it
used to feel like there was a test quota from my doctor and that I would be judged
for my results. Now I test for <i>me, </i>because <i>I </i>want to know. Everything
works so much better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I checked the mail every day this week like
it was Christmas, and my new BS monitor finally came. Reunited, and it felt so good. :)</span></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-31580391560337844052015-05-03T17:16:00.000-07:002015-05-03T17:16:08.153-07:00Remembering to Look Up<div class="MsoNormal">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
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With the threat of snow safely past us, it’s safe to say
spring has reached Minnesota.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it’s
absolutely glorious.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Like many of my neighbors who seem similarly euphoric to be
outside without having to wear a coat, I’ve been taking as many walks as
possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an effort to shake things
up yesterday I went rollerblading for the first time of the season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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I love rollerblading, but I’m not good at it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am graceless, my balance is non-existent,
and when falling I tend to catch myself with my face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only rollerblade on newer, smooth paved
trails or there’s no hope of staying upright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite the danger to my limbs, it’s a great workout and it’s pretty
fun.</div>
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As I rolled along yesterday I enjoyed feeling the breeze,
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panic-related doubt during intense workouts that makes you feel like you may pass
out or die at any second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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But after going along for about twenty minutes, I realized I
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the asphalt, or Heaven forbid, a snake, my due diligence was robbing me of
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<br /></div>
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I continually struggle with the same question regarding
managing diabetes, and I have yet to answer it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What is the right balance between
living a healthy life and enjoying it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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More and more I am realizing that the two approaches must be
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back and forth between the two--controlling diabetes or living a “normal” life—I never
did well with either one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guilt or
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<br /></div>
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I’ve been working to find more ways to live healthy that not
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different salad toppings and dressings that effectively distract me from my
constant craving for a cheeseburger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
joined a new gym (that I hopefully will actually use ;) ).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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I doubt, however, that the search for true balance is over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems even when I am keeping tight control
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<br /></div>
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For now I’ve decided to take the same approach as I did when
rollerblading: scan the ground ahead for potential pitfalls, but keep my head
up and enjoy the view.</div>
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<![endif]-->AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-75042333605648940452015-03-21T20:18:00.000-07:002015-03-21T20:18:05.576-07:00What's in a Name?The title of this site was something I toyed with for a
while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t my first choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But like other surprises and hurdles life brings, it brought me back to
the most fitting place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time I had thoroughly considered every angle,
re-examined every possible negative scenario, and finally decided to launch
this website, the titles and URLs I had considered were already taken by people
just as creative and certainly more prompt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The title “<a href="http://artistmom2two.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&max-results=1" target="_blank">A Shot in the Dark</a>,” which I imagined would speak to managing
diabetes in secrecy and unfamiliarity, was long ago put to better use in a
wonderful blog by a mother of a child with diabetes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other title I entertained, “<a href="http://www.d-word.com/" target="_blank">the D word</a>,”
was meant to allude to how I’d never spell out the full word when I wrote about
diabetes in my journal, but it was also already claimed by a community of
documentary filmmakers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Go figure).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later on I became very grateful these names were already
taken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a while I realized they
described where I had been, not where I wanted to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They embodied the challenges I faced, not the
capabilities I had since discovered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNN7TREZsnasJttBwEPhNR_3Zir8gvLfTv8Gn3q2gzGhzda2emJ8a39Ju_6dDK1qHNOL0MpBGNoML7I1dklP-04nuk1HMsLhc56hTL0c_TJoq6C6CQC2EK4WMBF8fSZaQvdEUX5pIzPWQ/s1600/post+one+Hello.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNN7TREZsnasJttBwEPhNR_3Zir8gvLfTv8Gn3q2gzGhzda2emJ8a39Ju_6dDK1qHNOL0MpBGNoML7I1dklP-04nuk1HMsLhc56hTL0c_TJoq6C6CQC2EK4WMBF8fSZaQvdEUX5pIzPWQ/s1600/post+one+Hello.png" height="185" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What this website stands for, beginning with its title, is
the empowerment of people living with diabetes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hope it serves as a positive way of focusing on <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what we can do </i></b>to
counteract all the limitations put on us by others and by ourselves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like diabetes management, “BS in Check” isn’t just about
meds and doctors and treatment plans—it’s about keeping your mentality in line
as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve found mindset is what
guides health, especially with a condition where so much is determined by
everyday choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After well over a decade of hiding, denying, lying, and
half-trying, I learned that believing in your abilities and the possibilities
of your future make all the difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is easy--perhaps even inevitable--to get worn down by the relentless strain of chronic conditions so that you begin to focus more on the obstacles than your own power in controlling them. But thriving
is about keeping your Blood Sugar, as well as your Bull Shit, in check.*<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">*please excuse the use of expletives and near-dirty words. I don't want to offend anyone, but it's going to happen here.</span></i></div>
AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2871774734846138572.post-4075753699805472632014-12-29T23:31:00.000-08:002014-12-29T23:31:11.753-08:00The Beginning: A Rallying CryWelcome!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It comes as no surprise that I’ve been struggling for months
with how to start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is a common
sentiment regarding talking about important secrets that goes: it is not so
important <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>how</u> </i>you say it, as
long as you say it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in other words,
spit it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t let questions over
how to approach and frame the story prevent you from telling it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here goes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are many reasons why I wanted to start this
website.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of them entirely
self-serving (practicing telling the story of diabetes and discovering my own
story), some of them silly (Money! Fame! Blogging makes you super rich,
right?), and some of them eagerly if vaguely benevolent (hoping somehow in some
way this helps someone).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But above all else, the core principle is this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the diabetes narrative deserves some
positivity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter the medium or the speaker, the dominant message
about diabetes is ominous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Diabetes appears
to go hand-in-hand with life limitations, serious threats to your health, and
miserable routines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While those things
can play a part in experiences with diabetes, that perception doesn’t do
justice to the disease or the people who live with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People with diabetes are incredibly strong and their
tenacity should be celebrated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Diabetes
is a serious condition, but it is within everyone’s grasp to make changes that will
help them improve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we really focus on
our health instead of what’s holding us back or what could happen, we can live just
as happily, if not more, as anyone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
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There’s something missing in all the pamphlets and pharmaceutical
commercials and doctors’ visits and materials about diabetes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s in there, but the font size just
isn’t big enough:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>WE CAN DO THIS.</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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More on that to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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AL Brickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17381907148291959520noreply@blogger.com0