With the threat of snow safely past us, it’s safe to say
spring has reached Minnesota. And it’s
absolutely glorious.
Like many of my neighbors who seem similarly euphoric to be
outside without having to wear a coat, I’ve been taking as many walks as
possible. In an effort to shake things
up yesterday I went rollerblading for the first time of the season.
I love rollerblading, but I’m not good at it. I am graceless, my balance is non-existent,
and when falling I tend to catch myself with my face. I can only rollerblade on newer, smooth paved
trails or there’s no hope of staying upright.
Despite the danger to my limbs, it’s a great workout and it’s pretty
fun.
As I rolled along yesterday I enjoyed feeling the breeze,
the tranquility of being removed from the noise of traffic or the TV, and the
pleasant muscle exertion that made me proud of working out without the
panic-related doubt during intense workouts that makes you feel like you may pass
out or die at any second.
But after going along for about twenty minutes, I realized I
hadn’t glanced up more than a few times to take in my surroundings. In fear of tripping over a stick, a crack in
the asphalt, or Heaven forbid, a snake, my due diligence was robbing me of
enjoying the natural beauty of the wetlands and woods surrounding the
trail. Was it necessary to stay fixated on the ground to prevent myself from
ending up on it?
I continually struggle with the same question regarding
managing diabetes, and I have yet to answer it.
What is the right balance between
living a healthy life and enjoying it?
More and more I am realizing that the two approaches must be
integrated—that you have to discover healthy ways of eating, exercising, and
thinking about things in ways that appeal to you. When I used to separate the two and switch
back and forth between the two--controlling diabetes or living a “normal” life—I never
did well with either one. Guilt or
doomsday feelings of long-term effects always follow you when you live like a
non-diabetic, and when you do try to pay attention to it you feel cheated of
the “normal” life you still envision as part of your world.
I’ve been working to find more ways to live healthy that not
only don’t feel like punishment but are actually enjoyable. I signed up for a couple 5ks to keep me
motivated to jog. I’ve experimented with
different salad toppings and dressings that effectively distract me from my
constant craving for a cheeseburger. I
joined a new gym (that I hopefully will actually use ;) ).
I doubt, however, that the search for true balance is over. It seems even when I am keeping tight control
of my B.S. the energy required to do so shifts my focus too far one way and I
don’t focus on enjoying every moment, or I start to envision false
limitations.
For now I’ve decided to take the same approach as I did when
rollerblading: scan the ground ahead for potential pitfalls, but keep my head
up and enjoy the view.
